Welcome to Watch List, where we identify five things on TV to watch while you stay at home and attempt to get that new DVD you bought out of its case without breaking the disc in half. My goodness, must the center doohicky in the case be so stubborn? LET’S GO!
NBA FINALS - LAKERS/CELTICS, GAME 7 – 9:00PM (ABC) Only four NBA Finals have gone to seven games since 1984, and the last one to do so was Spurs-Pistons in 2005, a series so boring everyone politely asked if they could just announce a winner beforehand so everyone could go to bed. Not so this time. No, tonight should drum up considerably more interest. Tonight decides the NBA title, but it also decides a whole lot more. Will Kobe Bryant win and be deemed one of the five greatest NBA players ever? Will the Celtics prevail and cement the legacy of Paul Pierce, Ray Allen, and Kevin Garnett? Will Kobe’s legacy be tarnished if he can never get past the Celtics? WHY DID BEN LINUS NOT GO INTO THE CHURCH IN THE LOST FINALE?! Sorry. Got off track there for a moment. Anyway, this is as big as the NBA gets. You’d best tune in. ANTICIPATION: HIGH!
SUPREME COURT OF COMEDY – 10:00PM (ION) I don’t know what Ion is, but no matter. This comedic Judge Judy features Dom Irerra as the judge, with Kevin Nealon and Jamie Kennedy as the presenting attorneys. It’s just like Lewis Black’s “Root Of All Evil,” in that you will never watch it. Oh, Jamie Kennedy. Who knew there was a rung below “Malibu’s Most Wanted”? ANTICIPATION: GUILTY!
NEWNOWNEXT AWARDS – 10:00PM (Logo) And man, is that one impatient awards show title. NEWNOWNEXTRIGHTFREAKINGNOWMAN!!!! Okay, okay! Settle down. We’ll get to the awards fast as we can there, fella. ANTICIPATION: GIMMEGIMMEGIMME!
WORLD MUSIC AWARDS – 8:00PM (CW) That’s right. Not one, but TWO award shows are competing for your eyeballs tonight. Which will you choose? Well, the World Music Awards presents their case tonight with hosts Michelle Rodriguez (check her for ankle monitor bracelets!) and Hayden Panettiere, whose last name still sounds very close to a delicious Italian holiday cake. It’s soaked in rum! Mmmm, rum. Performing tonight are Akon, Ludacris, will.i.am, Jennifer Lopez, and… The Scorpions?! Really? Aw, yeah. Who’s ready for some glorious German riffage? THIS GUY. ANTICIPATION: HERE I AM! ROCK YOU LIKE A HURRICANE!
MALL COPS: MALL OF AMERICA – 10:00PM (TLC) Take a peek inside the lives of the men who bravely chase away thirteen-year-olds who are spending too much time loitering around the Cinnabon. ANTICIPATION: BLARTY!