Justin Bieber has complicated feelings about awards shows.
Less than 24 hours after he performed "Company" and "Sorry" during the 2016 Billboard Music Awards at the T-Mobile Arena in Las Vegas, Bieber took to Instagram to explain why he no longer finds joy in such high-profile events.
The revelation surprised some of his fans, and for good reason: Nominated in 12 categories, Bieber was named Top Male Artist and Top Social Media Artist. Still, neither honor made him feel any better about attending the awards show.
"I don't know about these award shows.. No disrespect to anybody at any of the shows or the people running it. Nothing but love for you guys and your support. But I don't feel good when I'm there nor after," Bieber, 22, wrote. "I try to think of it as a celebration but can't help feeling like people are rating and grading my performance. A lot of people in the audience there to be seem worried about how much camera time they will get or who they can network with."
The Biebs is in the midst of his Purple World Tour in support of his fourth studio album. When he's performing for his fans, he feels their admiration. The same can't be said for awards show audiences, he argued.
"When I'm doing a regular show I feel they are there for the right reasons and to strictly have a good time! But these award shows seem so hollow. I get the premise is to award people for their accomplishments, but is it really?" he asked. "Because when I look in the audience I see a bunch of fake smiles so that when the camera hits them they look happy."
"Sure there are people truly proud of others so I don't want to knock them I'm just looking at the vast majority," he wrote. "I just think to myself if I'm living my purpose I want the reward to be fulfillment. I'm getting awarded for the things that I'm doing and not for who I am which is understandable I know it would probably be hard to calculate and award someone's spirit lol. But When I do get these awards the temptation of putting my worth in what I do is so hard to fight!!!"
Bieber reassured his followers that he's grateful for the industry support he's received.
"I am privileged and honored to be recognized by my peers in but in these settings I can't feel the recognition. There's an authenticity missing that I crave! And I wonder does anybody else.." he said. "Sorry not sorry about grammar it's not my strong point."