Question: Can one use at least a squirt of Sriracha at every meal?
Answer: It was a trick question. Of course you can, and should, but "squirt" is not the appropriate amount. "Hefty dose" or "egg-dousing puddle" or "noodle-soaked pool" are the correct "squirt" substitutes in this case, yes? Yes.
If you're on this tasty train, and many Angelenos are regarding a Los Angeles-born condiment, then best ride it straight to the first-ever Sriracha Festival, which is set to spice up downtown's Lot 613 on Sunday, Oct. 27.
We'll pause here in case you need to revive yourself, have a sip of water, call your mom. Because we know. A whole festival devoted to what is probably, just maybe, the greatest meal topper in the solar system, and several surrounding interplanetary groups, too.
Huy Fong has been making the thick red sauce, a well-textured paste known for its perfect bite and chile-o-sity, for over three decades. And while it is a longtime staple of the grocery store's Asian foods aisle, the saucy flavor is found in favorites across the board, in breakfast, lunch, and dinner, the occasional dessert, too.
There are even a few Sriracha-centered cookbooks now, and author Randy Clemens is playing the co-organizer of the Oct. 27 event.
An event that will include a bottle-wielding bevy of local toques -- greetings, Ernesto Uchimura, Neal Fraser, and Tai Kim -- making dishes and foodstuffs and dreamy meals where Sriracha is the star. Local beers and sodas'll cool down the tongue, if you want it cooled down (you gotta work through the burn, though, a little).
A ticket at the door is $59 and you have to be over 21. Advance tickets are a bit less expensive.
Final questions, and these are not tricks. One: Do you know the bottle just by its now-iconic green plastic nib? Yes, you bet you do. You can see it across a grocery store at sixty paces. And two: Do you call it Rooster or Sriracha, or both, depending on the situation? All great superheroes have two identities, so we'll call this one the superhero of the refrigerator's condiment shelf.
Dreams do come true. They do. If you ever doubt, remember the Sriracha Festival. The best things can happen in this world, and they very often arrive with a green squirter and a cocky rooster on the front.