Ever enjoy a bacon cheeseburger on a sunny patio of a Southern California restaurant? And did you have your pup with you, at your feet, lapping from a bowl of water kindly provided by the restaurant?
Then please raise your hand, now, if you never, ever sneaked your dog a bit of bacon.
There are no hands raised, we'll assume, because every hand belonging to every hound-adoring human has waved the under-the-table bacon strip at one time or another. 'Fess up, hands of SoCal. We know.
If only there was a menu just for dogs, you likely thought, then I could keep my bacon.
The Morrison wants you, and all pooch people — pro-poochists, if you prefer — to keep their bacon. The Los Feliz pub just introduced a special dog menu designed solely for their four-footed, furry-faced, tail-thumping guests.
Guests we'll assume are not picking up the check, so perhaps you, as the person in this equation, will need to discuss that first with your dog. (Hope this conversation isn't awkward.)
There are three selections on the dog menu priced at six bucks a pop. Where's the Beef? is chopped hamburger beef with rice, Cock-a-Doodle-Doo is chicken and rice, and Frannenweinie has, you betcha, hot dogs (chopped) and rice.
It's a wide range for a pup who probably sticks to the same foods on her home turf. You could visit three weekends in a row, giving your Pug or Mastiff the chance to place snout to supper on each selection, and let her decide her favorite.
But, honestly, everything is a dog's favorite, which is why we love them so. That bird, that Frisbee, that smell, this fallen bit of ham? ALL of those are a dog's favorite ALL THE TIME.
(Forgive the all-caps, but dogs are pretty much all-caps, constantly, right? Right.)
As for the bites for the diners actually eating off the table and not from a dish below it? Posh burgers are the theme, with fish tacos and steaks making cameos. And there's beer. Mucho craft beer straight from the taps.
We can only guess The Morrison's menu'll be a happy hit with the muttlies. And, of course, their people, who no longer have to do that hand-sneaky-under-the-table thing.
They can spoil their canine bud, full-on, just as long as the human involved knows his dog definitely is light in the wallet. And light on actually having a wallet, or pockets, or a purse, pretty much.
Ah, the Life Carefree. Dogs, you've got it made.