Art Student Who Disappeared Reveals Why She Went Into Hiding

A San Bernardino woman who went missing for 10 days earlier this month broke her silence Thursday, issuing a lengthy written statement.

In the statement, Sahray Barber, 22, described the days when she was missing, including her stay at two different hospitals in Los Angeles. She said in the statement that she was depressed and had decided to walk away from her life.

Police scoured the area for Barber, believing that she had been the victim of foul play. Some of her belongings were found in bushes near her apartment and she disappeared around the same time as a rash of attacks against women at the nearby Cal State San Bernardino campus.

Thursday morning, San Bernardino Police Chief Jarrod Burguan said he believed the department would seek to file charges for false statements that led them to believe the Art Institute of California student was the victim of a violent crime.

He estimated the overtime cost at least $24,000 and that on-duty officers, helicopter and other search-and-rescue costs meant the department spent much more. He didn't have an exact estimate.

While police searched for Barber, she had checked herself into a Los Angeles hospital, where she didn't give her correct name, Burguan said. Barber saw herself on TV but didn't reveal she was the woman being sought.

It was only after she was discharged to a shelter, where workers questioned Barber about her identity, that her family and police were alerted to her presence, according to Burguan.

Barber issued her statement on the condition that it be printed in full. The complete and unedited version is below:

I need to start by thanking everyone.

To my family and friends, the entire San Bernardino Police Department, any and all the government officials and organizations, and everyone that prayed and assisted in finding me. Thank you. Thank you so much for all the love and support, and all the time, effort and resources you put into brining me home. Most of all I need to thank God. I felt God’s protection and guidance the whole way, and I know I wouldn’t have made it unharmed through all I did without it. I ask for every ones forgiveness, most especially my wonderful family for all the worry and long nights I caused you, and all the amazing men, women, dogs and horses that searched for me through so many nights and days.

I was honestly shocked when I learned from S.B.P.D. personnel and my family all that had been done to locate me. I expected to be another missing person’s case and, having not planned to return, I’d chosen not to look back or pay any mind to any searches or investigations related to my disappearance. I never could have imagined any of this, just like I had no clue what the impact of my leaving would have on so many lives.

I have always striven to do my best in school. In High School, like a lot of people, I felt the all expectations and pressures that came with achieving and maintaining a high GPA. I graduated High School with Honors. Since I started my Associates in Graphic Design, I’ve had my share of easy and tough classes, and good and bad quarters, some of which I felt I barely made it through. I’d received some scary low grades in one quarter but I felt good going into my final quarter.
Really good actually, I felt I had a great recipe for a successful conclusion to my first leg of college.

Unfortunately, I tried to keep myself standing tall as I was hit by the various stresses, pressures, class deadlines, and life challenges I was inexperienced in such as: losing my vehicle in a traffic accident and having to rely on friends and family for transportation, my computer equipment and software needed to complete my assignments becoming inoperable and having a hard time keeping up with my class work as a result, and through all of this the ever looming portfolio show and end of my job.

By not reaching out to family or even school officials, I created a recipe for disaster. I was supposed to be graduating, but instead of having my perfect quarter, things fell apart. I was scared and it felt like the whole world was pressing down on me. Things got so bad that I didn’t know what to say or HOW to ask for help. I had dug a hole so deep, that I felt entirely hopeless. That Monday morning (March 9, 2015) when I reached the gate, I felt I needed to lighten my load. I didn’t intend on ever coming back or being found so I dropped my stuff over the wall and walked away with just a bit of cash. Eventually public transportation and God’s guidance took me to Los Angeles.

During the 10 days I was gone, God brought me in contact with many people in Los Angeles. I could feel his guidance and protection through them. Some of them were like angels, helping me stay alive, or teaching me the things God had brought me there to learn. To everyone I met in L.A. who helped me in even the smallest way whether you know it or not, I would like to thank you all very much as well.

The majority of my time in L.A. was spent in two different hospitals under a fictitious name. On the day I was released from the second hospital, I was blessed by making the acquaintance of another angel. She had no idea who I was, she just realized I wasn’t where I belonged and wanted to help me. She convinced me to open up to her and then to let her call my dad. She was like God’s messenger telling me my journey was complete and it was time to return home.

In closing, I know what I did was incredibly dumb and that I am only here by the grace of God. But I am not at all ashamed of what I did. I know that I did what I had to do, and went where I needed to be. Now I know I am back where I belong and I have a new appreciation for myself and for all of the amazing people that I have in my life. I have and am getting the help and support I need as I now work on getting my life back on track.

God Bless with Sincere Love and Many Thanks,

-Sahray Barber