Bengals Backup Quarterback Will Help You Pee

Who needs the NFL when you can develop applications to help people go to the bathroom during movies?

By Kurt Helin
|  Thursday, Sep 3, 2009  |  Updated 12:16 PM PDT
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Bengals Backup Quarterback Will Help You Pee

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Where is the RunPee app? Fast!

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Cincinnati Bengals backup quarterback Jordan Palmer is not his brother Carson — he doesn’t have the golden arm or the Heisman Trophy or the weight of a struggling football franchise on his shoulders.

But if you have to go to the bathroom during a movie, he’s your man.

During this week’s episode of HBO’s entertaining series “Hard Knocks” (which follows the Bengals through training camp), the younger Palmer talks about his other business — RunPee.

The iPhone application does just what it sounds like it does. Say your girlfriend is forcing you to sit through “The Time Traveler’s Wife” (she loved the book) and that 32-ounce Big Gulp you downed on the way to the theater has caught up to you. Just launch Run Pee, call up the movie and it will tell you the best times in the film to make a bathroom run and give you a synopsis of what you missed while you were gone. As this is the Time Traveler’s Wife, you might need to go a few times. Just because.

All that for just $1.99, what a deal.

Palmer was pimping the product on Hard Knocks, wearing a Run Pee shirt, showing it off on his iPhone. Carson has worn a Run Pee shirt as well during some of the tapings. Jordan is part of the RockSoftware team that develops and markets mobile applications.

The fact Palmer the Younger was hyping his other business on national television may tell you all you need to know about his NFL career. He’s battling to make the Bengals roster as a backup quarterback along with the inimitable J.T. O’Sullivan. Of course, backing up his made-of-glass older brother (standing behind a patchwork offensive line), Jordan could get a shot this season, who knows.

Now, if he and his buddies could develop an app to tell us when to go to the bathroom during a Bengals game so we don’t miss a big play, that is something we could all really use. Wait, this is the Bengals we are talking about, we can just go whenever.

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