Joakim Noah's second year in the NBA was about as successful as anyone could have hoped. Noah averaged six points, seven rebounds, and 1.4 blocks per game during the regular season. His playoff performance topped it; Noah was the team's best rebounder, interior defender and glue guy, and his solid, sometimes unappreciated work got a full stage in the Bulls' seven-game first-round series against the Boston Celtics. Noah's greatest moment came on a now-famous steal of Paul Pierce in overtime in Game 6; it was inarguably the best play of the series.
Now, it's the offseason. And Joakim Noah is celebrating in style.
TMZ.com spotted Noah frolicking in St. Bart's with a beautiful, occasionally topless girl on his arm. There are photos of the duo in the water, relaxing on the beach, and so on and so forth; there's nothing particularly scandalous, except when one looks at how stunningly attractive the female is and how goofy-looking Noah remains. (TMZ doesn't have a name for the girl, but "she's rumored to be Noah's girlfriend." And if TMZ reprints a rumor, you know it's true!)
The point of which is this: Joakim Noah, by dint of being a rich, famous basketball player, can look approximately like a long-haired, seven-foot version of Kermit the Frog, and guess what? His girlfriend, or girlfriends, will always look like this. And good for him. Parlaying one's fame and money into beautiful woman and beaches is a dream for all of us. Good on Joakim for making it reality. What's more, this isn't Tim Thomas. This is Jo Noah. He works hard. He deserves it.
We're still incredibly jealous and a little bit stabby right now, but it's true all the same. But we're resigned to our fate. All we ask to be able to live vicariously through TMZ slideshows.
Eamonn Brennan is a Chicago-based writer, editor and blogger. You can also read him at Yahoo! Sports, Mouthpiece Sports Blog, and Inside The Hall, or at his personal site, eamonnbrennan.com. Follow him on Twitter.