When Oscar time rolls around, film critics love to make picks, take professional guesses, and tell the public what movies will probably win and why.
Let's take a different tact and make some real talk about what we don't know when it comes to the biggest awards show in this quadrant of the galaxy. We don't know who'll be on the red carpet on the next-to-final day of February in the year 2016. We're not sure who'll design the tuxes and gowns. As for the winning movies that will be de-enveloped at the 88th Academy Awards? That's really anybody's hunch, at this point.
But what we do know is this: The random drawing to maybe possibly score a bleacher seat on the big day is now open. The dates to enter are Nov. 5 through Nov. 19. Make that 5'clock in the evening Pacific Standard Time on Thursday, Nov. 19, on the dot, no later than that, set an alarm.
Did you set an alarm? Really?
We also know this: Should you enter the Oscars Red Carpet Fan Experience, the drawing to select which ardent cinephiles'll get to sit themselves, nice 'n proper-like, upon the bleachers along Hollywood Boulevard, and your lucky name pops out of the proverbial hat, well, we know you'll be majorly pumped.
We also know you'll probably take more selfies than your Facebook feed has ever seen before, like, ever, on the afternoon of Sunday, Feb. 28, 2016. We know you'll see a bunch of stars you recognize and a couple of up-and-comers whose names escape you. And we know the whole "nice 'n proper-like" bit shall end the moment you see your dream actor, and you shout his or her name approximately twenty seven times.
We mean twenty seven thousand.
Because that's life on the Oscar bleachers, outside the Dolby Theatre. Pretty rarefied, pretty fan-excited, and red-carpet-y as all get-out.
There's some fine print to the drawing, there are rules, there's important stuff to know. But no actor worth her role ever begins filming a movie without a contract, which, we don't mean to shock you, may contain some fine print.
Is this your red carpet year? We mean, is next year, 2016, your red carpet year? Again, we don't know, but that's part of the deliciousness of Oscar time. What's inside the envelope? What will the big speeches be about? And will your name be selected in the Oscars Red Carpet Fan Experience?