There are a dozen ways to devour an Oreo -- most revolving on what to do with the cream in the middle -- and several adventurous eaters out there take on their pizza slices crust-first. (We wonder: How does one hold the skinny tip of the triangle and not have the whole thing collapse inward? Mysteries.)
But there's only one way to enjoy a cheeseburger: messily. Pretty much everyone you encounter for the remainder of the day, post-cheeseburger consumption, should know you ate a patty with a slice of melted cheese, and some sauce, by the looks of your shirt, pants, and, yes, face.
Pasadena gets this viewpoint, in large part because Pasadena is the esteemed and lofty birthplace of Le Cheeseburger, a concoction that was said to have found its meaty beginnings at the Pasadena's Rite Spot back in 1924.
The Rite Spot is no more, but cheeseburger love is a love experienced the world over. So Pasadena pauses each January to pay tribute to that fall-apart-iest of savory sandwiches, with a spotlight on "signature burgers, some special creations..." and various deals and happenings.
But the mighty cheeseburger deserves more than a single snackworthy day, so it is getting several: Cheeseburger Week is on from Sunday, Jan. 11 through Friday, Jan. 16.
The Counter, Dog Haus, and Green Street Restaurant are three of the eateries pitching in on the party-for-cheeseburgers front.
Two more quick things: If the cheeseburger's centennial is less than a decade away, which it now clearly is, should we not all be busily planning a major parade or exhibition? Are we already behind?
And this: Getting messy is not a pre-requirement for cheeseburger enjoyment. But if you've consumed an entire meat + sauce + buns + melted cheddar slice + lettuce + tomato and haven't once accessed a napkin, we'd advise you to seek your cheeseburger-based needs elsewhere, because that sandwich isn't cutting it.
Cheeseburgers demand some truth talk. Also, sauce or no sauce? (Sauce.)