Trying to sort out the myriad of California ballot measures and propositions can be a nightmare for the average voter.
That's why Democratic activist Damian Carroll put them all to haiku.
In addition to describing Prop. 56 as neutrally as he could: "The cigarette tax, Would go up, two bucks a pack, E-cigarettes, too," Carroll also weighs in on dueling agendas with his liberal bent.
"If you want the state
To execute more people
This one's for you," he wrote of Prop. 66.
Carroll, who couldn't immediately be reached on Twitter Tuesday, is the national director of the charity Vision to Learn and a self-identified Democratic activist who lives in Van Nuys, according to his LinkedIn and social media profiles. He was also political director for Bobby Shriver for Los Angeles County Supervisor and director of special projects for Los Angeles City Councilman Paul Krekorian. He was a one-time teacher and also ran for state Assembly in 2013.
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He released his poetry, which also include Los Angeles city measures, as a PDF document on Google Drive on Sept. 22.
Feel free to print out and bring to the polling booth.
Here are the haikus in their entirety.
This November 8th
Seventeen propositions
Are on the ballot:
Proposition 51
Nine billion dollars
Of bond funds for school buildings
Term: thirty-five years
Proposition 52
A hospital fee
Matched with federal dollars
Funds Medi-Cal boost
Proposition 53
Bonds for big projects
(Like high speed rail and Delta)
Would need people’s vote
Proposition 54
Bills must be posted
On the web, for three days straight
Before they are passed
Proposition 55
For high-earning folks
An income tax that funds schools
Would remain in place
Proposition 56
The cigarette tax
Would go up, two bucks a pack
E-cigarettes, too
Proposition 57
Earlier parole
Of prisoners serving time
For non-violent crimes
Proposition 58
Kids learning English
Won’t need a waiver to take
Bilingual classes
Proposition 59
Asks to overturn
Citizen’s United, but
Shucks, it’s non-binding
Proposition 60
Adult film makers
Would have to require condoms
Or risk a lawsuit
Proposition 61
In theory, lowers
The cost of some state-bought drugs
(But it could backfire)
Proposition 62
Vote for this one if
You want to eliminate
The death penalty
Proposition 66
If you want the state
To execute more people
This one is for you
Proposition 63
Requires a permit
Issued by the DOJ
To purchase ammo
Proposition 64
Legalizes pot!
Also raises some tax funds
(Perhaps a billion?)
Proposition 65
Plastic bag makers
Put this one on the ballot
To punish grocers
Proposition 67
To ban plastic bags
Vote “yes” on 67
“No” on 65
