If you're a turkey and Martha Stewart offers you a drink, run!
The domestic doyenne told Stephen Colbert she has plenty of experience killing Thanksgiving birds with her bare hands (six so far this year!), and even has a method for doing it.
"You know those little bottles of like, cognac and bourbon that are on the airplanes?" Stewart told Colbert during an appearance on "The Colbert Report" Wednesday night. "Well, before the bird is slaughtered - "
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It was too much for the faux news funnyman, who interrupted incredulously, "You get the bird drunk?"
Apparently so. But most dead turkeys walking would probably prefer to putt a buzz on before getting their necks wrung, so give Martha credit.