Thursday Watch List: Double Dose of Ron Swanson

Welcome to Watch List, where we identify five things on TV to watch while you stay at home and wonder what life had been like had Hugh Grant actually agreed to replace Charlie Sheen on “Two and a Half Men.” Imagine the awkward stammering that show could have produced. It could have easily set off local seismographs. LET’S GO!

PARKS & RECREATION – 9:30PM (NBC) You get two doses of “Parks” tonight for the price of one, starting at 9:30 and with a second episode starting at 10PM. And I can get behind such things, you know. In the latter episode, Ron Swanson teaches elementary school students. Let’s hope the Pyramid of Greatness makes its return. ANTICIPATION: DOUBLE PARKS!

AMERICAN IDOL – 8:00PM (FOX) Tonight is your results show, and your musical guest is Jordin Sparks, as if “Idol” producers are hellbent on making sure contestants know just how meaningless these results ultimately can be. Also tonight, judge Steven Tyler unleashes his new solo(!) video for the song “(It) Feels So Good.” Why is “It” in parentheses? BECAUSE PARENTHESES ARE ROCK N ROLL YOWWWWWW!!! By the way, I saw profile of Tyler in People magazine last week and you do NOT want to look at that man’s toes. They are terrifying to behold. ANTICIPATION: SPARKS!

MUSIC BUILDS: CMT DISASTER RELIEF CONCERT – 9:00PM (CMT) Some of the biggest stars in country music are getting together to help raise money for victims of last month’s devastating tornadoes in Alabama and all across the Deep South. On hand tonight are Alabama (duh), Keith Urban, Lady Antebellum, Sara Evans, Tim McGraw, and Hank Williams Jr., who is usually kept in cryogenic freezing during the football offseason but has been thawed out for this very special occasion. ANTICIPATION: GOOD CAUSE!

CSI – 9:00PM (CBS) Season finale tonight. See if they finally catch that dude from the Bobby McFerrin video. ANTICIPATION: KILLER CLOWN!

BREAK IT DOWN – 10:00PM (NatGeo – an NBC/Universal network) You’ll meet a Los Angeles area Porsche dismantler this evening, and what an evil job that is. Hey buddy, why not put down dogs and burn schools while you’re at it? ANTICIPATION: NOT THE PORSCHE!

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