Venus, Rising: Tennis' Fashion Faux Pas

Venus Williams is the most recent tennis player to horrify onlookers with questionable threads. We've seen worse, here are a few.

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Venus Williams of the US plays a return to Patty Schnyder Switzerland during their Women's first round match in the French Open tennis championship at the Roland Garros stadium, on May 23, 2010, in Paris. The event, the second Grand Slam tournament of 2010, runs from May 23 to June 6, 2010. AFP PHOTO PATRICK KOVARIK (Photo credit should read PATRICK KOVARIK/AFP/Getty Images)
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Nobel Media
Venus Williams caused quite a stir with her getup this week at the French Open. She rightly pointed out her lace dress wouldn't have looked like lace if it lay on top of black undergarments, but in our view the nude effect was horrifying to spectators.
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The biggest crime may be that the dress looked like a cheap Halloween costume either way.
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Of course, Venus isn't alone in the "Don't" column. James Blake's neon getup last year isn't the worst tennis outfit in the world...
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...it's just a tribute. Andre Agassi's spandex-under-denim shorts look would be horrifying even without the matching head wrap -- but then, being outrageous was always Agassi's thing.
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AP
At least when his thing wasn't looking like the pirate dad version of Joey Fatone.
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Dominik Hrbaty took things to a new level when he wore a shirt with cutouts (somewhere, Janet Jackson has a nightmare). They were supposedly for ventilation, but there's probably not a place on earth hot enough to justify this sartorial abomination.
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Newsworks/Avi Wolfman-Arent
They told Anne White to wear white to Wimbledon in 1985. They just forgot to mention it wasn't going to be held in space in 2099.
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Telemundo
Bethanie Mattek is the General Sherman of tennis attire, burning retinas wherever she plays. At left, an ode on a Grecian urn, complete with bizarre sock-top bowties, at right, mortal terror in a matching headband.
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Mattek's 2007 U.S. Open number was a crime against humanity and animals.
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That same tournament she also sported a gold lamé number. A million Hershey's Kiss with Almonds wrappers cried out at once, and were silenced.
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France's Aravane Rezai also tried gold lamé and stranged winged shoulders. And failed.
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NBC6.com
Andy Roddick should have been awarded a win for managing not to laugh at Roger Federer's Mandarin-collared military safari warm-ups at Wimbledon's championship match in 2009.
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Especially because the ensemble came with a matching cater waiter outfit, and Federer wore it on purpose.
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AFP/Getty Images
Gallina Voskoboeva wore her grandmother's curtains to the Qatar Open in 2008.
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We award Radek Stepanek a 10-yard penalty for this 2006 getup.
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Martina Hingis was ranked no. 1 in 2001, but she could apparently only afford one sleeve. Odd.
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Jennifer Capriati defended this well-intentioned 2003 look with "the troops liked it." Yeah, and many of them hadn't seen a woman in months. They'd have thought Star Jones looked good.
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Men are from Mars and Venus is from Venus, where bosoms are strangled by opposing layers of alien spandex that threaten to release a wardrobe malfunction or two with every serve.
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Radek Stepanek, we meet again at the 2009 Brisbane Open. And you apparently met Grimace, and hacked off his pants.
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The world may have been ready for the Williams sisters' tennis takeover, but tennis wasn't ready for a leather-look front wedgie Serena sported in her infamous catsuit at the 2002 U.S. Open.
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But at least she left her boots at home. Whether styled as an amazon biker or a candy cane, Serena's knee-highs were...well, let's just say the look didn't take off. And we've only just now stopped giggling.
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Jelena Jankovic's 2008 ensemble would earn points for modern cut and color, but the weird silver sash and transparent shrug pushed it into space alien karate mom territory. Take us to your leader, dear, so we can seize his sewing machine.
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Rafael Nadal finally gave up his capri pants (we couldn't even bring ourselves to include a pair), but then raided a South Florida shuffleboarder's closet.
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Galina Voskoboeva's dress at the 2006 Pilot Pen looked like she'd left an uncapped red one in an invisible side pocket. Or was shot. We're scared to see what some of these characters will come up with next...
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...but at least we've gotten this behind us.
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