Welcome to Silicon Valley, Motorolans!


So your company's been bought by a Silicon Valley juggernaut and your options include heading west and assimilating to a foreign culture. Maybe this list will help a little.

Geography: That big-ass lake? That's the ocean.

Tip 1: It's OK to tell your wife you got crabs downtown.

Baseball:  Our players have rings. And that's sushi at the ballpark, too.

Pizza: Please bring your pizza skills, ok? Ours can have tofu.

Weather: You know how cold your winters are? That's summer in San Francisco.

More baseball: The difference between a Chicago Cubs Hot Dog and a Giants Hot Dog ... You can get a Giants Dog in October.

Of Note: Our Macy's have always been called Macy's

Tip 2: The "L" means lesbian here.

More Food: We have brats, too, but we discipline ours.

Tip 3: There are Raiders fans and 49ers fans. Pick.

Real Estate: It's a wash. You'll find Mountain View and the nearby towns similar to Lincoln Park and its satellites.

Commuting: When BART isn't shutting itself down, hackers like Anonymous might be. You'll need a Prius or, in Mountain View, probably a Tesla.

Wildlife: Da Bears? Yeah, they're actual bears.

Weather 2: Think of fog as snow's shadowy cousin.

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