Comic-Con: The Bite-Sized Tips

Going? Have your costume? Your panels? Your hotel? Your ride? Your...

If we had a rare 1938 Action Comic Books #3 featuring Superman for every time someone said Comic-Con International is "humongous" and left it at that, well. We'd be a comic book-owning scion, that's for dang sure.

Because "humongous" and "gargantuan" and "larger than Godzilla" and "bigger than fifteen solar systems smooshed together" are incredibly common descriptions of the world's largest pop culture convention. (Okay, maybe that last one less so.)

But how will those generalities help you when you reach San Diego on Thursday, July 24, which happens to be the everything-made-or-being-made extravaganza's opening date for 2014? Answer: They will not help. Here, however, are some lickety-split tips that might (we said might, so don't get huffy if they don't apply to you, which they probably should).

1. Celebrities. They should probably rename the San Diego Convention Center "Celebrity Ville" for the duration of the con, since oodles of famous people show up. ("Oodles"=several dozen, at least). Charlize Theron, Quentin Tarantino, and the perfect Betty White are on the "expected to show" list.

2. Masquerade. The weekend's showboaty (said with supreme love and admiration) costume-o-rama love fest gets the mega queue, the huge applause, and the hours and days and weeks of preparation. Seriously, people who gussy up and perform in the Saturday night staple are mega. Extreme effort. Props.

3. Special Guests. So, we heard that your favorite artist and/or writer is totally going to be there. Okay, so that was a guess, but an accurate one, we'll wager, given that comic book biggies Neal Adams, June Brigman, and Eleanor Davis are set to show, as well as oodles of others. ("Oodles"=several dozen, again, for reference.)

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4. Everything Else. The shopping, the books, the toys, the t-shirts, the panels -- THE PANELS -- the hobnobbing, the costume-admiring, the walking from one end of the convention center to the other and passing three Hulks, the social aspect, the Comic-Con-o-sity, which is a real thing. Are you ready to queue? To listen? To applaud? To chat? To get your forearm signed because you don't have a piece of paper on you?

Yeah. You so are.

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