A few things to know about the new Madame Tussauds on Hollywood Boulevard. One, both New and Old Hollywood get their respective due. And two, the Bruce Willis we saw there has kind of been haunting our thoughts and lurking around the corners of our minds.
You can't go to a Madame Tussauds without engaging in a particularly Tussaud-y type of topic with your group which is this: which celebrity looks the *most* real. Your friends will likely have different opinions, and you can go back and forth, pros and cons, as you shimmy up next to the figures and don boas and hats (the museum provides props) and take snapshots.
We mentioned this, yes? You can get up close, very very up close? For pictures? Your holiday card. You and Britney Spears. Hip to hip. Cheek to cheek. BFFs.
But back to the realness factor. We quietly wondered, as we wandered through, if the museum hadn't somehow procured a *real* celebrity to stand and pose and, well, freak people out. In a friendly, celebrity-type, "gotcha!" type of way. We really did. We did in fact saunter into one room only to exclaim, with excitement, under the breath, "Steven Spielberg is here!!!"
We did. With multiple exclamation points. And then, embarrassment set in, fast and swift.
It was the way the figure was leaning so casually. The hat. The rumple of the clothes. We reddened, momentarily, but not as much as when we told our friend, swore up and down, that the Bruce Willis figure across the room was actually the actual action star, brought in as an opening-week-fun-headline-making story.
If that was Bruce Willis, he stayed very, very still. So we must admit our error. But, the momentary adrenaline. Bruce! "Die Hard"! Yes.
One last mention: If you're a "Silence of the Lambs" fan, the spot where the museum advises you stand to best enjoy the fake Hannibal Lector may inspire bad dreams the following night. It is very, very close and very, very whispery.
Fava beans indeed.