This is not a trick question: How does one become queen?
There are a few ways, mostly involving being born to the role, or possibly marrying into the family. But here in the capital of entertainment? We audition.
Whether there've been more movie queens than real queens is up for debate, but something that's not debatable? Being Doo Dah Queen is a very flashy and very fun title to rock.
Yep, you have to tryout to helm the annual Pasadena parade, a parade that is notoriously -- and we do mean notoriously -- outlandish and fabulous and strange and occasionally feather-ruffling and frequently feather-wearing.
What to do, where to go and what to see
The next Doo Dah, which dances along the east part of Colorado Boulevard, is on Saturday, April 27.
But the royal auditions come first. They're happening on Sunday, April 7 at the American Legion Bar in the Crown City. "Individuals of all genders, shapes, ages, and persuasions will test their fate to become queen," say organizers.
And what does an audition for Doo Dah Queen involve? If you were to show with a portable record player, a vinyl recording made in the '30s, five-inch platform shoes, a ball gown, a stuffed unicorn, and a giant outer-space-man mask, you might -- and we're saying might here -- be in serious consideration.
An mime performance or a song or a dance or a poetry reading or a three-minute headstand are all acts you might want to consider.
But know this: The Doo Dah does invite queens back for special events, and they typically show up in some capacity in all future parades. So once you've gone Doo Dah, you're Doo Dah for life.
Heavy may be the head that wears the crown, but zany is the heart who wears the crown of Doo Dah.