Blame Obama for Boosting This Bothersome Breed

Portuguese water dogs all the rage, but they belong in a cage

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    NEWSLETTERS

    TK
    White House
    More and more aspiring pet owners see this dog in their dreams. But do they know that it's also the stuff of nightmares?

    Americans love nothing more than a good fad, such as pet rocks or key parties or, most recently, Twitter. So it's no surprise that they'd go head over heels for the Portuguese water dog, the new Twitter of the canine world.

    Just a year ago, nearly nobody had heard of this horror cur, which looks like an undignified Poodle and behaves like a toddler on meth.

    He is a clinging companion and an incessant alarm barker. This highly manipulative breed is distinguished by two coat types, either curly or wavy, which require extensive grooming, bathing, brushing, combing, detangling, etc. far in excess of the time that would be spent vacuuming up dog hair if it were to shed, which it does not (carrying dirt, twigs, dust, mats, etc. around with it until groomed).

    And now everybody wants one of these excitable beasts, because poor President Obama got suckered into taking one off the hands of his friend Ted Kennedy. America looks at Bo Obama and thinks, "How perfectly adorable!" as he tears around the White House lawn devouring microphones and tomatoes. In the evening, he gives the Obama family night terrors. And when he's not busy being an unholy menace, he's off scoring book deals and posing for baseball cards like a B-list celebrity.

    This is what you want, people? Apparently:

    Ever since the Obama family anointed Bo the country's First Dog, requests for Portuguese water dogs have been soaring, jumping by about 100% in the U.S. and 122% in the U.K. from a year earlier, according to officials at the Portuguese Water Dog Club of America.

    Soon, Portuguese water dogs will be as ubiquitous as the English sparrow or the snakehead fish ... and just as reviled.

    Retired Westminster dog show judge Sara K. Smith writes for NBC and Wonkette.