The weather is warming up, the flowers are starting to bloom and cover bands are getting booked up, which can only mean one thing: Wedding season will soon be upon us.

With inflation straining American budgets, you may not be so happy to see the invitations pouring in. More than 6 in 10 of this year's wedding attendees have at least one financial concern about watching their friends tie the knot, according to a recent report from Bankrate. Almost 1 in 5 (18%) say they will go into credit card debt to be able to attend.

That puts people in a tough spot. On one hand, you want to be there for your loved ones' special day. On the other, between the cost of travel, accommodations, gifts and attire, the average wedding guest plans to spend an average of $611 per wedding in 2023, according to Bankrate.

If you're invited to multiple ceremonies, your costs can get big in a hurry. Between May and October, my boyfriend and I are invited to eight weddings. Going by the averages and assuming we're splitting the lion's share of costs, $611 times 8 means we're on the hook for almost $5,000 this year in weddings alone.

That figure doesn't include the costs that come with being in the wedding party or attending auxiliary events such as showers and bachelor/bachelorette parties.

Between now and the end of wedding season, I'll be talking with money and etiquette experts to help me navigate keeping costs down while still adhering to the strict (and sometimes weird) wedding protocol. My first step: Clearing the calendar a bit.

How to send your regrets gracefully

Let's be honest. The easiest way for my boyfriend and I to cut our wedding costs is to attend fewer of them. So we pulled our invitations from under their fridge magnets and took a look at our finances.

We love all our friends dearly, but ended up having to decline two ceremonies. Both are out-of-town friends hosting destination weddings. Both would require us to book a flight, rent a car and spend hundreds of dollars a night on a hotel or Airbnb. They quite simply didn't fit in our budget.

That's OK, says Diane Gottsman, an etiquette expert and owner of the Protocol School of Texas. "You don't have to accept every invitation. An invitation is an opportunity to go if you want to. Don't feel compelled."

Declining isn't as easy just not showing up, however. The first thing you must do is send an RSVP, which Gottsman says you'd be wise to do as early as possible. "We tend to wait around and put it off because it's uncomfortable," she says. But letting the couple know early can make planning easier on their end.

When you see the happy couple, you can share as much or as little as you want about your reasons for not going. "You might say, 'Unfortunately, we had a conflict.' That conflict could be that you were cooking fish that night. Or you had to wash your hair," Gottsman says.

Regardless of your reasons for declining, good etiquette dictates that you send a gift. "It's considered a courtesy, and people will remember," Gottsman says. "They'll certainly remember if you send nothing at all."

That said, you don't have to send anything flashy or expensive to make up for your absence. If it's a close friend or family member's event you have to skip, budget the same amount for a gift as if you were attending.

If it's more of a distant acquaintance (another valid reason you may feel uncomfortable going) choosing something small off the registry or sending a gift card is appropriate, says Gottsman. "If these are people you never see, it may even be appropriate to just send them a congratulations card."

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