Welcome to Watch List, where we identify five things on TV to watch while you stay at home and hot sauce your children. The burn lets them know you mean business! LET’S GO!
TEEN MOM – 10:00PM (MTV) Amber has a hot date tonight. And I bet that'll be a fun time for the guy involved. "So Amber, tell me about yourself." "Well, I have a kid. Oh, and I got arrested for assaulting my baby daddy on camera." "Oh. Oh, really? That's... nice. Say, do you mind if I go to the loo for a moment? (jumps out bathroom window and drives away)" Gonna be tough for our girl to find true love once more. ANTICIPATION: AWKWARD!
BLADE RUNNER – 9:00PM (SyFy - an NBC/Universal network) Ridley Scott's sci-fi masterpiece is showcased tonight on SyFy in its full extended version glory, complete with new effects and a longer running time. And I do believe that this cut also does away with Harrison Ford's narration, which everyone hated. Man, remember when Harrison Ford was a great actor? When he cared? It's been so, so long. ANTICIPATION: OMG SEAN YOUNG IS IN THIS I FORGOT!
WORLD SERIES OF POKER – 9:00PM (ESPN) It's part 4 of the 25-part main event. Yes, that's right. Twenty-five parts. Apparently this tournament was organized by Leo Tolstoy. ANTICIPATION: ANTE UP!
AMERICA'S GOT TALENT – 9:00PM (NBC) I need some kind of Sharon Osborne Blocker device for my remote, so I can watch this show without having to see or hear her. That should be the next step in TV technology. We have the mute button. We have the DVR. Now we need some kind of clipping software that allows you to extricate people and characters you dislike from a show entirely. Seems feasible. ANTICIPATION: JUGGLING!
I HATE MY KITCHEN – 9:00PM (DIY) Wahhh wahhh. You know how lucky you are that you even have a kitchen? In Iceland, they have to live inside volcanoes! ANTICIPATION: RENOVATEY!