Don't even ask me how I landed on this page, because I might not be able to tell you. But once I did, I was transfixed. It may have been the NBCLA.com link from a health story ... but at any rate, I'm admiring the culinary atrocities people have posted on the "This is why you're fat" website.
I almost can't pick my favorite. I like the simplicity of the McSurf-n-Turf ... and the photographic artistry on the deep fried pepperoni pizza ...
But honestly there is one that caught my eye that I might actually try to make ... oh no, look CLOSELY .. it's ...
MEAT CAKE!! Three layers of meatloaf, frosted with mashed potatoes and decorated with ketchup. I think I would need a little more ketchup, though.. maybe baked into between each layer? Mmmm ...
Oh, here's where it started. It WAS NBCLA.com. Shocker, I'm being a homer. It's this "Blockbuster Study" (good to know our headline writers have a sense of humor) that says too much red and processsed meat IS BAD FOR YOU!! The study itself seemed a little bit malicious: if you eat, say, a Quarter Pounder a day, you're more likely to die DURING THE STUDY. Read on:
Diets full of hot dogs, bacon and hamburger meat greatly decreased the overall health of the more than 500,000 participants in the study, who were evaluated over a 10-year period.
People who consumed about four ounces of hamburger meat -- a quarter-pound burger -- daily were 30 percent more likely to die over the decade they were followed, according to the study which tracked the health and habits of men and woman ages 50 to 71 years old.
Women who ate large amounts of red meat were more than 50 percent more vulnerable to heart disease, while men who ate the same amount were more than 27 percent more more likely to die from heart problems.
That last line bums me out. So not fair. And, I'm not alone. I think my favorite part about this article is a comment posted from someone named "oh NOOOOOOO!" This person (man? woman?) wrote:
"First of all, to the FOOD POLICE, SHUT UP. Why not do something productive, like report on something people ACTUALLY care about. Oh NO, it's a hambuger. oh, please, please ,please, dont let it get me. We can't smoke, don't drink, no cake. We have to have printed on the menu, whats in our food and the calories when we eat at a restaurant "so we can make the right choice". Who cares. LEAVE US ALONE !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Amen, sister. (Or brother? Did I just tell on myself or are women more belligerant when it comes to issues of food and shoes?)
When it comes to matters between men and women and just trying to get along, here's a site that's a real winner. I've been lurking for laughs on it for a few days now, and if thisiswhyyourefat.com makes you feel better about your diet, "SideTaker.com" will make you feel better about your relationships. (The cut line is: "Deciding who is more wrong.")
Here's the pitch from Killer Startups:
"Are you having trouble with your loved one? Is the constant arguing starting to bother you? If you are looking for a solution to your problems, then you should try out Sidetaker.com. With this site, you’ll be able to solve all your disputes using the always trusted wisdom of crowds. All you have to do is air out your grievances, tell your lover about it (so they can tell the world their side of the story), and let people vote and comment on the topic.
... The best part is that your name (or that of your love interest) will never be known. This assures anonymity and makes it possible for you to air out all of your problems without worrying about people judging you."
Um, that last part should read "people you KNOW judging you." Here's a sample:
"You both make ridiculous statements in your stories. What are you, 16 years old, you two? Katie doesn't feel remorse, she just wants what she can no longer have. And Steve, where's your sense self esteem? Did you let Katie take that, too? You both need to grow up before you consider having anymore relationships. Please!"
The dilemmas are everything from a guy who doesn't flush the toilet because he's cheap and wants to save water (75% are on her side,) smoking inside the house (82% saying it's unacceptable,) to the question of "should I try swinging" (64% say no you should not.)
I'll sign off with my favorite piece of video this week ... at least, so far. Flammable water. Now I've really seen it all.
Editor's Note: This piece was edited in a timely manner by a man who always flushes the toilet.