Monday Watch List: BETHENNYNESS!

Welcome to Watch List, where we identify five things on TV to watch while you stay at home and wash out Melissa Leo’s mouth with Lifebuoy. LET’S GO!

BETHENNY EVER AFTER – 10:00PM (Bravo – an NBC/Universal network) Can’t get enough Bethenny? Nor can I. I need my life to be fully Bethennized. Which is why she’s back on Bravo for another fantastic season of whatever it is Bethenny Frankel does. This show was called “Bethenny Getting Married?” last season (she did), and now it’s called “Bethenny Ever After.” So I guess it’s a new show, but really it’s the second season of the last show, which had an out-of-date title. I haven’t been this confused since “Valerie” became “The Hogan Family.” Tonight, Bethenny goes to Pennsylvania to visit her husband’s folks and experiences culture shock. This begs a few questions. 1) Really? It’s Pennsylvania. You’re not in Zambia or anything, honey. And 2) Did this girl really not visit Pennsylvania prior to marrying the sap that married her? I call you-know-what, Bravo. ANTICIPATION: BETHENNERIFIC!

ANTHONY BOURDAIN: NO RESERVATIONS – 9:00PM (Travel Channel) Tony is back, which means a whole new season of incredible food and ill-conceived boat trips. The first episode of the new season is in Haiti. No playing around for Tony. He gets right into the guts of it. Tony also hangs out with Sean Penn for a bit as the actor assists in rebuilding efforts from last year’s earthquake. Sean Penn is just like sea urchin: a decidedly acquired taste. ANTICIPATION: HAITI!

AMERICAN EXPERIENCE – 9:00PM (PBS) The story of the 1911 Triangle Shirtwaist factory fire, which killed 146 people. This was back in the days before organized labor, when workers were forced to work in hazardous conditions and eat coal for lunch. You’ll be reading Sinclair and joining your local Teamsters after five minutes of watching this. ANTICIPATION: BURNING!

THE BACHELOR – 8:00PM (ABC) Brad and the girl visit South Africa. Are you kidding? Why do these people, of all people, get to go to such awesome places every week? Slap a wig on me and give me crazy pills. I’d hop on this show for the travel perks alone. Also tonight, your cast for the next season of “Dancing with the Stars” is revealed. Among the rumored members: Kirstie Alley. Better be a strong dance floor. ANTICIPATION: UNFAIR!

ALAN K. SIMPSON: NOTHING ELSE MATTERS – 10:00PM (PBS) It’s a profile of the former Republican senator from Wyoming. Comes with a free bottle of castor oil upon viewing! ANTICIPATION: SCINTILLATING!

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