Dear Ohio,
Happy New Year! New York here. Just thought we'd drop a line because we've been reading your headlines and, well, we're a little concerned.
You've been such a good state, Ohio. You've got some quality football, you've got Cincinnati chili -- hell, you've even got the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame! You're on a roll!
So why are you trying to be the new Florida, the state where all the crazy happens? Because you're just racking up the crazy, Ohio. First there was the old lady suing her neighbors -- who had her arrested for confiscating the ball their kid kept tossing into her yard -- and now we hear that a 4-year-old in Jackson shot his babysitter for stepping on his foot.
Seriously, Ohio? Okay, so the victim only suffered "minor wounds to his arm and side," but shouldn't babysitting -- which, last time we checked, paid like $7 an hour in Jackson -- be a gig with zero risk of being shot by one's charge? What the hell is a 4-year-old doing with a gun, Ohio? The kid barely knows how to operate his Pull-Ups!
Seriously, we're worried. Call us. Collect.
Best,
New York