‘I Want to Help Other Parents': Volunteering Brings Comfort After Son's Death

Esther Ybarra-Bryant lost her 13-year-old son Nathan when he decided to end his life.

That happened 25 years ago. The search for solace led her to the Hirsh Mental Health Center in Los Angeles, where she found support from other people who had suffered the consequences of that scourge.

"When I met other mothers, other people, who lost someone, seeing the pain, that they carry, [that] I also carried, we got together and survived together," Ybarra-Bryant said. "It was already a community of survivors."

Ybarra-Bryant became a volunteer at the center to offer the help she had received there to others.

"[I want to] help other parents," Ybarra-Bryant said. "Don't let this broken heart happen to her, losing her son, her daughter to suicide."

Although her son is no longer with her, Ybarra-Bryant says she feels him all the time.

"Every night when I see a shining star I say, 'I love you, Nathan,'" Ybarra-Bryan said. "With that, it fills my heart, I'm happy, knowing that he is the brightest star."

Resources for those who suffer in silence

The U.S. Centers for Disease Control (CDC) report that 45% of gay, lesbian, and bisexual youth considered suicide, compared to 15% of heterosexual teens.

But there are resources to prevent another death and for this community of the population to continue suffering in silence.

"We can help anyone who is having a crisis, suicidal thoughts, or simply looking for help for anyone else," said Karla Centeno, the bilingual coordinator for the 988 Crisis Line.

The 988 Line has been around for many years but recently changed to that number to be easier to remember.

"We want the person to open up, tell us what is happening at the moment," Centeno said.

Many of the calls come from LGBTQ youth

"Some of the reasons LGBTG youth are calling out is depression, isolation, peer problems at school," said Franklin Romero, of the Los Angeles County Department of Mental Health.

Bullying at school and in social networks further affects LGBTQ youth who already have risk factors.

"But just being LGBTQ isn't what puts you at risk, it's the environment, your family, school, peers, the community where you live," Romero said.

The Los Angeles Unified School District (LAUSD) has hired specialized counselors for the past two years.

"At any time, 24 hours a day, any child in our community can call and speak directly with a person who has the training to speak with them and then refer the student to another professional," said Alberto Carvalho, LAUSD superintendent. "LGBTQ kids are under pressures that other kids don't understand and don't get past."

Reducing the risk of suicide

Specialists highlight the importance of eliminating myths around this problem.

"Many times we think that if we talk about suicide, the thoughts increase,” Centeno said . "It's the other way around, if the person tells us about what's going on, we can reduce the risk, and that's our goal."

Regardless of the numbers, just one death by suicide is already a great loss that could have been avoided.

If you or someone you know needs help, please contact the National Suicide Prevention Hotline on 988, or the Crisis Text Line by texting "Home" to 741741, at any time.

Mental Health Services in Los Angeles County:

• Department of Mental Health: https://dmh.lacounty.gov/  / LA County: 888-807-7250
• Didi Hirsch Mental Health Services: https://didihirsch.org/
• Trevor Project: https://www.thetrevorproject.org/get-help/ 
• Condor Center: https://www.condorcenter.com/