An invitation to watch the Academy Awards at a friend's house typically asks that the guest bring an appetizer or a bottle of wine or dessert. Rarely, though, does it specify the amount of chitchat that will be permitted, by the host, during the telecast.
It's the touchiest of Oscar night subjects, and fraught with Firmly Held Opinions by all involved.
But Oscar aficionados recognize the need for such a rule: If revelers around you are talking and you can't hear the speeches, you get a mite miffed. And no one should be miffed on Oscar night (it's like a law).
What to do, where to go and what to see
Enter Sid Grauman's Million Dollar Theatre, which shall once again serve as the shush-free sanctuary for those who would love to truly watch the show, sans snarky sass/complimentary comments, in an old-school movie palace setting (much like the early settings the 87-year-old awards show once occupied).
Date? Sunday, Feb. 22. Time? Doors open at 4 p.m., the show is at 5:30 p.m. The host? The Los Angeles Historic Theatre Foundation.
As for the dress code? Why it's glamorous, of course, but you don't need a stylist: You can dress in honor of a vintage Tinseltown star, or wear your loudest vintage blazer, or rent a tux, or go awards-show casual (button-up, no tie). Think of this as the alt-Oscars, a dressy but relaxed gathering that's in Los Angeles in a big theater on Oscar night, but without any of the nominees or movie people.
But movie-mad people will be plentiful. And reverential, we hope, or at least a bit. Nope, we can't promise that the people in your row won't chatter a bit during the telecast, but call Hollywood's Biggest Night at the Million Dollar a better spot to land if you want to watch the show without the running commentary of your neighbor's cousin's not-so-hilarious best friend.
General admission? Thirty dollars. Swanning about Grand Central Market, the theater's nearest neighbor, in your Oscar-ready gown and tiara, and enjoying a burger before the show? Well, that's probably about ten bucks, for the burger, plus the immeasurablely nice feeling that you're out on Oscar night and headed to a screening party in a landmark theater.